The Emerald Room ★★★★

Creative Director Brendan de la Hay. Dining Wed-Sun. Shownights Thu-Sat 6-9:30pm. Late night dining 9:30-midnight. High Tea Sat & Sun.

Sydney, ever needy and insecure, is always trying to convince itself it can do what the Londons, New Yorks, Hong Kongs and Paris’s of the world can do. “Sydney is a global city” we mutter to ourselves every New Year’s Day, rocking back and forth under our doonas as the rest of the world wakes up to shots of fireworks streaming from the Harbour Bridge. We have some of the world’s best restaurants, top notch theatre, internationally renowned landmarks, a “light rail” and a raging cocaine habit that puts Los Angeles in its place… we’re one of the big boys, right?

So why the **** is it so hard to get a meal in the city after 9pm?

I know there are a handful of late night options (that aren’t just fast-food venues, but even most of them are shut by 11), but now we have The Emerald Room that’s vying to be both a raucous cabaret venue and a late-night destination for dining and drinks.

So does Sydney’s new cabaret/dining locale make us green with envy, or send us all “Hulk! Smash!”? Well it’s more “Hulk! Get Smashed!” as The Emerald Room serves dinner, drinks, drag and more.

As you ascend the stairs you are welcomed by a floating sky of neon, drawing you up to the walls and walls of emerald sequins (how many Spotlight branches died to make this venue? We’ll never know).

The friendly and finely dressed staff lead you past the band into the main room, with its three stages. No matter where you sit, you’ll get an eyeful of the action. And what a room it is. Gorgeous green banquettes line the walls, with a number of “enviable up close” booths at one end. The central stage is lined with seats for some very intimate views, while the rest of the tables are scattered in the spaces. It feels busy, and as the crowd arrive the buzz grows.

The menu is small but with pleasant twists on classics, mainly due to the logistics of what is essentially “dinner theatre”. The entire room will need to be served almost simultaneously between acts. The set menu has some flare but keeps on the simple and honest side of things. The a la carte menu serves up ever-reliable options like burgers and steak. The prawn toast looks like the item to beat though.

Due to the timings, the “dinner and show” service starts early – a 6pm early bird special – but that includes plenty of time to relax and drink a cocktail or two before the dishes start to spin.

And then, once you’re sufficiently lubricated, Brendan de la Hay steps forth in deeply unpractical footwear to get the party started. The night is part drag, part “Cabaret” (the musical, not the genre) and part saucy Spiegeltent. Having three stages keeps the action flowing to match the torrent of wines and cocktails being poured by the Emerald Room’s army of night-cap ninjas.

On the night in question we had two burlesque acts that covered all bases. Natalya Alessi mixed silliness with her striptease, keeping things light, while Danny Golding worked the pole with sensual moves that had a pair of posturing straight boys sat round the central stage feeling very uncomfortable (the Emerald Room should hire them, their faces were very amusing).

De la Hay hosts and rocks the elevated fashion drag with two Gemstones (Alex Lewtas and Catrina Ralph), while the powerhouse that is Catherine Alcorn brings the vocals and sassy laughs as Mama (dressed as a shimmering Statue of Glib-erty). They’re all backed by the three piece band of Jonathon Holmes, Amanda Jenkins and Brendan Paul.

The night is loud. From the music, the vocals and the laughs & howls from the crowd. This cavernous space rocks to the rafters in a sea of glitter and good vibes. Unlike most other performance spaces, the Emerald Room is thirsty for your socials. Each performer seems to have a radar that’s always pinging for each video or photo being taken – they’re happy to play to your screen for that perfectly capture post.

And when the show is over, the fun doesn’t have to stop. No one is hovering over you with the bill, in fact they’d prefer you to order another round, or two (or three in our case – the next morning was a little hazy). As the happy punters started to leave their tables, a smaller second crowd began to filter in. The room was less rowdy, but now a more intimate, more relaxed atmosphere took over. Newcomers grabbed drinks and a quick bite – the evening had never been very “formal” but now it felt like you were just as likely to have a chat with staff who were happy to banter, as you were to your friends. It had turned from a show, into a hang out.

So here’re the tough questions – is the food worth the price? Yes, but you’re not coming here for the menu. It takes second place to the show. Is the show worth it? Definitely, but I’d love to see it pushed a fraction further into the risqué. Give me enough sauce to get tongues wagging. At the moment it’s a bit closer to GATSBY at the Green Light, and not as chaotically catchy as Briefs – if you know what I mean. But it’s a tough balance, you can’t put anyone off their meals at the end of the day. It’s never going to be as boundary-pushing as the renowned and infamous The Box (you don’t want food anywhere near those acts TBH), but we don’t want this to be the same as any touring festival show. De la Hay has excellent taste, and has been on a one-person mission to bring some drama to our red carpets for years, so I trust their judgement.

Overall, I’d rank the dining as “solid”, the cocktails as “excellent” (as the sister venue to King’s Cross hidey-hole Dulcies, I’d expect nothing less), and the performances as “a ****ing great night out”. With a rotating cast and a changing menu (or even the creation of a signature “must have” menu item) I can see myself coming back multiple times. This is the kind of thing you can bring out-of-town friends to for a whole evening of entertainment and leave them with stories to take home. I already know a few people planning on using the place as a birthday event (but please, no hen’s nights!).

When you stumble out of our esteemed cultural spaces desperate for a bite, get thee to the Emerald Room for a late-night experience that will cap things off with a smile.

Professional photo credits: Tom Wilkinson, Josh Raymond, Tomo Okai and Philip Erbacher.