Book, music & lyrics by Preston Max Allen. Presented by Cheers Productions in association with Hayes Theatre Co. Hayes Theatre. 9 Oct – 8 Nov 2026.
Chekhov’s Toilet: if there’s a toilet on stage, it will be used. In We Are The Tigers, it sets the scene for a bloody murder.
The Tigers, the cheerleading squad of Giles Corey High (a Salem Witch Trials reference, FYI), gather in the basement of new squad leader Riley for their annual sleepover. She’s feeling the pressure. The team is headed to Regionals, but right now they’re best known for a viral fall that made them an online laughing stock and put a few members in hospital. As tensions flare, the cheerleaders start being brutally murdered one by one.
Preston Max Allen’s pop/rock score is vibrant and rich with gorgeous harmonies, which this ten-strong, almost exclusively female cast absolutely nails. The tunes are catchy and fun, if a little repetitive, and they sit alongside a ridiculous slasher plot that delivers some cute moments. But the good bits get lost in a running time of close to three hours. We Are The Tigers is bloated and unfocused.
Allen plays with slasher tropes but hasn’t adapted them for the stage, and he drops them quickly. The overlong first act spends enormous time establishing each character and their internal struggles (this show has more addictions than the dreadful Jagged Little Pill), with every troubled teen marked for the chopping block. Who has Final Girl potential? The new girl just trying to fit in? The ambitious mascot who’s blagged her way into the party? The non-binary cheerleader wrestling with their own demons? Or the chaste Christian determined to stay pure? The songs are nice and well performed, but they’re a waste of precious minutes.
First-time director Chiara Assetta pitches the tone somewhere between a very special episode of Degrassi and an OTT Scary Movie parody. Elizabeth Berkley’s caffeine-pill meltdown to “I’m So Excited” would not be out of place among these characters, who have a bewildering, soap-opera habit of delivering dialogue straight out to the audience rather than to each other.
Only toward the end of Act One do things get really interesting, as the show pivots to a Yellowjackets-style dilemma before leaning into the sheer stupidity. When the girls reassemble in Act Two, bound by an I Know What You Did Last Semester secret, their bonds are strained. God help the clueless new girl who’s just transferred in.
Above the uneven material, though, floats a cast of gorgeous voices and dedicated performances. When the TV screen failed mid-show (it was meant to display the murders), the cast simply powered on, and frankly the screen wasn’t missed.
As the intensely dedicated Riley, Brianna Bishop excels, making the most of the character’s comic potential and her big vocal moments. It’s a performance worth soaking in. Other standouts in a uniformly excellent ensemble include Artemis Alfonzetti as the troubled Farrah and Chelsea Dawson as Chess (both underserved but overdelivering), and Caitlin McCallig as the over-enthusiastic Reese, who milks every comic opportunity.
When the tunes and the comedy land, We Are The Tigers will have you grinning in the aisles. It’s still worth booking just to revel in the talent on stage. The show sounds amazing and the cast are truly fantastic. It’s just a shame the script doesn’t rise to their level.
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